I have been thinking to pen this as a sequential to my prior article on true love. I wanted to incorporate all this into my first article, but was worried of boring everyone! But since I have a lot of comments to it, published/unpublished and talk with friends, I decided to put it down to take it further.
The question "True Love or Arranged Love" still exists as hard as a million dollar question! Lots of different comments and thoughts put forth, but I believe all that matters is communication and commitment for any relationship to be strong. So be it with your parents, siblings, friends, spouse; these 2 C's will make it the best situation possible. This is what I see in the picture of a heart, 2 C's clubbed together. Maybe some would like to put compromise as another 'C', but I would rather see it as accommodating. When you learn to accommodate the other person's needs, it won't seem as a compromise or sacrifice.
Making a relationship work is not about bravery or cowardice, it is all about understanding. If you feel that you have met the right person, then it takes commitment to stay in the relation. It is also important that you voice out your feelings in a controlled manner so as to not hurt the ones you love. This simply means that there might be times when you face opposition from your spouse/parents, but just handling the situation right is the key to make things work for you the way you want. Anger and frustration are key destroyers for this, and trust me it is easier to get annoyed and walk away than stay and talk! I am trying to condition myself to be away from these 2 things and it is lot of hard work! Continuing to the comment left on my previous post, it said that one can be torn apart in choosing between relations, and is one of the hardest things to do. All I can say is doing what you think is right; in the long run this is what matters, else all fades out.
Of course I do agree that destiny plays an important role in this despite all our humanly efforts! But moving ahead with decisions that you make for your life can be more gratifying for your conscience. Be it something good or bad that did not work out, you can be content that you are an enduring personality and have no regrets about it in the future, because regret can do more harm than good.
After reading my first part Karthik, a friend of mine told me that I mostly wrote about the cons of an arranged marriage. But the point I want to actually make is not an inclination to arranged/love marriages. It is about knowing what you want in your life, to make it happier for you and others, because when you are happy, it exudes out of you and you can make a difference to this world as a person. And this world needs more productive people; looks like I just found another post for my blog!
Be certain of what you want out of your life, there is nothing stopping you in achieving it! :-)
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8 comments:
As you rightly said making a relationship work is not about bravery or cowardice, it is all about understanding. To understand each other! Sometimes, it slips from our hands and during those time it is the patience and faith that will guide us. Faith that the relationship will work, shedding our ego's!! Have you seen the recent Canara bankd advertisement -
"We all change for the ones we love."
Regards,
Palani
Palani, it is sometimes very hard though to be very understanding. We tend to take our partners for granted after some time, and we expect them to be understanding too..or rather demand it. This is when the troubles start.. Key to avoid this is talk and be open, like I said voice out but in a controlled manner. One should never talk or think bad about thier partner in their absence, whatever it is tell it out!
Somehow I typed the comment earlier and was not saved. Not sure why...Anyways typing it again. It is very true that we take things for granted esp to our closed ones and most of the time, I feel we get upset when expectations are not met. I'm not sure if we can have (or we should have)expectations!!
I havent gone through the entire blog, but as far as I browsed through the topics it guess you have given lot of time and thought towards relationship management. Why dont you try your hand on expecations in relationships? Just a thought!
Well to tell you, I landed on to this blog page while searching for relationship between India and Foreign nations :)
-Palani
Well written !
Falling in Love is often easier than 'liking' - which is getting along as a roommate and living together - (which is why often the best friends have problems when they become roomies) and to get the like part correct - that's
where respect for space and not taking things for granted comes into play ..and that's where love and commitment brings the discipline to maintain patience for the same.
At the end of the day - if you go away from the person and cannot live without him/her despite all the moments of fights, anger, boredom or doubts yes...love is happening.
Hey Digitaldoc! very well said about what is love! I think a lot of people often have the question, what is love/is this right? and do not know how to take things further.. but if they think about it more deeply, I think one can find the answers they are looking for.... :)
A topic that never ends :)
Any relation survives longer with mutual respect and understanding for each other. Taking things for granted is a cultural thing too. One may not be neglecting by doing so. Similarly, acting independent and asking for space comes with a different cultural back ground. If one understands the other person without precedence, it benefits both. My 2 cents :)
I stumbled upon this blog and found it to be a very interesting. Am a beliver that ideologies around "right/wrong" is only situational; something thatz defined mostly by societal boundries. I cant agree more with you about "Staying committed" which is the probably the most important item missing in most...
Kiran
this is quite late to leave a comment on a topic long posted... but here goes... what made u compare these two entities, 'True Love' & 'Arranged Love'? meaning... is arranged love more to do with arranged marriages, then that would inturn become a true love by itself... as long as either one of them dont screw up... then, I take the liberty to conclude that there isnt something like arranged love here at all... either there is love or nothing... :)
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