Commitment and Communication

I have been thinking to pen this as a sequential to my prior article on true love. I wanted to incorporate all this into my first article, but was worried of boring everyone! But since I have a lot of comments to it, published/unpublished and talk with friends, I decided to put it down to take it further.

The question "True Love or Arranged Love" still exists as hard as a million dollar question! Lots of different comments and thoughts put forth, but I believe all that matters is communication and commitment for any relationship to be strong. So be it with your parents, siblings, friends, spouse; these 2 C's will make it the best situation possible. This is what I see in the picture of a heart, 2 C's clubbed together. Maybe some would like to put compromise as another 'C', but I would rather see it as accommodating. When you learn to accommodate the other person's needs, it won't seem as a compromise or sacrifice.

Making a relationship work is not about bravery or cowardice, it is all about understanding. If you feel that you have met the right person, then it takes commitment to stay in the relation. It is also important that you voice out your feelings in a controlled manner so as to not hurt the ones you love. This simply means that there might be times when you face opposition from your spouse/parents, but just handling the situation right is the key to make things work for you the way you want. Anger and frustration are key destroyers for this, and trust me it is easier to get annoyed and walk away than stay and talk! I am trying to condition myself to be away from these 2 things and it is lot of hard work! Continuing to the comment left on my previous post, it said that one can be torn apart in choosing between relations, and is one of the hardest things to do. All I can say is doing what you think is right; in the long run this is what matters, else all fades out.

Of course I do agree that destiny plays an important role in this despite all our humanly efforts! But moving ahead with decisions that you make for your life can be more gratifying for your conscience. Be it something good or bad that did not work out, you can be content that you are an enduring personality and have no regrets about it in the future, because regret can do more harm than good.

After reading my first part Karthik, a friend of mine told me that I mostly wrote about the cons of an arranged marriage. But the point I want to actually make is not an inclination to arranged/love marriages. It is about knowing what you want in your life, to make it happier for you and others, because when you are happy, it exudes out of you and you can make a difference to this world as a person. And this world needs more productive people; looks like I just found another post for my blog!

Be certain of what you want out of your life, there is nothing stopping you in achieving it! :-)

Spirit still exists!

I'm back now after a really long break! I guess I was caught up with things in my life, that I could not think of writing anything concrete! For now here is my piece of thot on friendship. I think I could apply for any relationship too...

Friendship- Reasons or Seasons?

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime....

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person. When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically,emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like God sent, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

This is an original write up by Jean Domnique Martin, which was sent to me by a good friend. We all would have had stages in our lives where this is pertinent. We have friends who come and go; sometimes we are sad as to why we spaced out. When we learn to see these situations in the right perspective, it becomes comforting to cope and not brood over the past. However this is easier said than done; to accept this takes a lot more audacity.

Think about the people in your life at present, are they for a reason, season or a lifetime? If you believe that they are for a lifetime, work towards strengthening it. Bottom line is cherish what friendships and relationships you have, because everything happens for a reason.... so that you grow better as a person.

Lead India!

Be inspired and Lead India to light! Our nation is in our hands! Do you have it in you to be this change????

True Love or Arranged Love?

This I guess is the most hot topic for any discussion! Screams for attention! ;-)

I was thinking about the text for my next blog, meeting a couple of friends lead me to this. As we were talking about college and friends etc.. we brushed upon this and man got into a hot discussion after that! It got us thinking, what is more important for a marriage to happen, is it love or circumstances?

As most of the time it happens in our country, marriages are "arranged". Boy meets girl, talk for a couple of months, family gets together and BOOM you are married, have kids and never ever have the time to realize what happened! Well I must admit this has worked well for a good number of people, but not so well for a smaller number. The situation here is totally based on chance, parents see the family, values etc and decide if it would be a "fit into their family". I do agree on the fact that these are important, but do you marry someone, because they fit for your situation, or because parental support is there for the relationship? Or do you marry someone YOU think you can lead a good life with? What is important here, love or situation? Sometimes circumstances bias us in making decisions. We assume that if someone fits into our present status and our plans, we would naturally be inclined to go for it, after all no one wants their plans to be changed!! But thinking this would be the best may not always be right.

People who are unsure about themselves, look for a rope to cling on. But in a marriage, YOU and your partner are the ones responsible for whatever happens, no blame game works here. The emphasis is, we all need the support of our elders, to guide us through, after all they have seen more of life and have greater experience, and also we are responsible for our lives, we need to strike a balance and go for the best!

Here's a food for thought, think about this.. If you ask anyone who's had an arranged marriage, if they would have gone ahead with the same partner, if they had met on their own, or there was parental resistance, a large percentage would answer Maybe or even a No!!!! A smaller cluster may say a yes indecisively, after all they wouldn't want to have a fight with their partner now and also their ego!!! ;-) The rest who say a yes strongly are truly the ones who know what they want out of their life. I guess I'm gonna write more about commitmment as a continuation to this, by popular demand! ;-)

So all you people, when you are plunging into the big commitment, think twice and be sure of it! And ask yourself the question, whether you are plunging into an arranged or love marriage, is he/she truly the one for you, or are you biased by the situation? Think about it.... Stand up for yourself and your partner and make a beautiful life together... because Love makes Life Beautiful!

Haute Couture

Fashion for most of the people means making a statement. People do judge us based on our attire, but is it all that matters? Is is right to judge a person on something so materialistic such as dress sense? I have asked a couple of friends what fashion means to them and surprisingly quite a few connect it to one's personality, values etc . I mean c'mon does dressing make you think different! Does ethnic dressing mean that you are very narrow minded?? Wow this was a real shocker for me!

Speaking to a fashion designer, who is a friend, she tells me that she loves designing because she can make anybody look flattering despite varying body structures. This gives her a sense of satisfaction and hopes that people would love their bodies the way they are and be more health aware than fashion aware. To be proud of yourself and your body is what matters the most, coz it turns out that neither fashion nor beauty are skin deep. Looks like the trite of anorexic models is not "in" anymore, esp with Chloe Marshall making news for the Miss England pageant in July. To me being chic is parallel to comfort and what a person can carry off well with grace, elegance and befitting for the occasion. Embracing fashion means that you can accept the changing trends and are open to ideas.

With makeover shows on Oprah, and in magazines such as Elle making big time headlines, hopefully people get the message that makeovers are to unleash the confidence in you and fathom that beauty captures attention; it is the personality which captures the heart.

Couples....

Should be a reflection of each other and compliment one another...... :-)

Like a mirror!!

Are we losing our identity....

I was listening to this music piece in the morning and it got me thinking if all still believe in our culture and follow the traditions or are we just getting really lost? As an Indian I feel that there isn't anything wrong in adapting our culture with a lil modernization into our lives. I personally think we as Indians have the best of both worlds and must make the most of it. Seriously how many of us really know the meanings of the slokas we read, and are we passing this on or this is just dying? I have been listening to the prayers of Lord Ganesha as a kid and have practically grown up on them, but not once did I realise the inner depth and the meaning. Recently Sharanya, my cousin got me to listen to Vishwa Vinayaka and this is an amazing collection! Sri Ganapati Atharvarshirsha is is my favorite after the Ganeshaya Dhimahi track. There is something magical about the words, meaning and the depth of the lyrics, it kinda peps up your mood and gives you an inner strength. I kind of understand sanskrit and am sure quite a few of you do too, so you would know what I am talking about. The meaning is absolutely beautiful! It would make me happy if all of you listen to this atleast once.

The best time would be early morning, sipping your morning kaapi :-).. The idea behind this is that this is way many of us have a lil time to sip rather than gulp, as we all probably do in our busy mechanical lives! So if you like your kaapi like the way I do- swalpa coffee and jaasthi haalu ;-)..go ahead and have a wonderful start for a refreshing morning! hehehe

Or just listen to it as you go to bed, play it and then relax and let the music soothe your mind and have a great night's sleep! Zzzzzzzz...

I look forward to hear from you guys and your experience with the music. Oh ya also lend me your inputs if you feel culture is being preserved or getting lost and what should we do about it? What is our true identity? Please feel free to drop in a line if you felt good or not so good after listening. I hope all ya people who visit listen to this amazing piece at least once and let me know and maybe we can "discuta una mocha"..[trying to learn spanish here! ;-)].

Till then signing off for now....hope all you wonderful people have a nice day!

O'er a Mocha!

Welcome to my space and my first post! :-) I hope at least quite a few of you will like this and hopefully present your ideas too and maybe get you more into the thinking mode...
I think it is always nice to talk or discuss with friends, especially curled up in your couch or bed and sipping a hot cuppa! The whole idea behind my blog is to bring in topics of our daily lives which we can discuss over a mocha. And why mocha, I love coffee and chocolate too!! :-D.
And btw if you didn't know, the name mocha originated from a small port city called Mocha in Yemen, which was the gateway for exporting coffee to Europe. Interesting huh!